Basic stuff here. We all know that in marriage going out together is an obvious thing that happens. During that time together, where is your mind at? Are you thinking about what you are going to do, eat, etc.? I am guilty of not being fully present on a date with my husband every time we go out. It must happen to all of us. I just don’t understand why its so hard for people to notice their spouse, the person they chose to be with for the rest of their life! Why would you pick a person to be with forever and then not want to enjoy their company, especially when taking time away together from raising kids or building a business or whatever other stressful life stuff.
One thing my husband and I started doing was booking hotel rooms for a night or weekend if possible. This is seriously the most romantic thing ever. If your partner isn’t doing this then you should totally suggest it to them! Let them know you are desperate for intimacy and want to have a getaway to remind you both of your love in the beginning and to rekindle that fire! We’ve realized after each “getaway” we got much closer and became so interested in each other like we were at the start of our love! How could anyone say no to that?! Why can’t we be treating our spouse like we did when we first met them? Sure everyone says that the fire goes out and it just gets old or boring but this does not have to be the case!!! Hate to be cliche but the grass really is greener where you water it! Where are the rules in life? Where does it say anything about having to get bored of your spouse and just go through the motions? When you get sweet time together you could actually make each others presence worthwhile and be intimate and funny and have a great time!
One bold statement I must make is: get the heck off your phone when you are spending time with your partner! It is straight up disrespectful to be researching random stuff or talking to random people or scrolling Facebook when your lover is just trying to spend some quality time with you. Maybe they are on their phone as well but someone needs to point this out! Unless its work related it shouldn’t be occupying your attention if you want your marriage to thrive! A loving marriage will require attention to be able to grow. Sometimes we are not present because we are so lost in our phones and relationships will suffer if we don’t put more of our attention into those we love most.
Our romantic getaways are therefore, time to invest in listening and caring for each other. We are not there to do online shopping or check up on friends or whatever other crap we have going on in our phones. We are there to be fully interested in each other show our desire, let them know that we care and want to remain best friends.
The best part about all of these romantic getaways is that all the places we’ve stayed have been so close to home and they were all cozy little places. Bed & Breakfasts or Inns are ideal for this! On our last trip to York, ME, we noticed there were other older couples doing this and we thought…Oh no! This truly means we are getting old now!! ( We are 30 so not old, but not super young anymore either lol) But really, people just like to get away together and enjoy their time together as they get older and I think that’s why my husband and I have been noticing this. We don’t want life to go by and be stuck saying “where was I for my family and the people that loved me.”
We have been blessed with an awesome sitter who is now our great friend and we found her through another friend! Its super important to have someone you can fully trust to leave kids with. Same goes for those of you with dogs or other pets, you can’t leave just anyone with them! I know it can be super hard to leave your babies to go out on dates but marriage needs to be made a priority! The first priority really if you want to work as a successful team in raising a family or enjoying life together! Be proactive at finding someone you can trust to watch your kids! Make a post in a local Facebook group for sitters or ask other moms if they know of anyone. Husbands, let your wives know this is important to you just like your marriage is important and that you will help her in finding a great nanny/babysitter. I have never had an issue with taking time away from our children but I do know that it can be a huge struggle for some women and understandably so. This going out on a date thing needs to be taken seriously though so even starting small with a dinner date to ease into going out may be a good start for some.
Anyway, the getaways we take are anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour away from home. This way we don’t have to be worried about leaving the kids home! Sometimes we grab lunch and go shopping a bit before we get to the hotel so it’s a full day spent talking and enjoying each other’s presence. It’s exhilarating when we go out and just drive and play music that we both love. These types of little things are what help keep us interested in one another.
So drop all of your grudges and excuses and wants. What can you do for your spouse today to help brighten your marriage? I encourage anyone reading this to go and start planning a little getaway even if just for one night! If you can’t set aside one weekend evening with the person you married then what are you really doing?