I LOVE being a mama! I have a 10 week old baby boy and an 18 month old daughter who are my greatest joys in life and also my full time job! I am a stay at home mom and although it is seriously demanding and trying a lot of the time, I wouldn’t change it for even the highest-paying job.
When I became pregnant I was obsessed with researching every little thing to do with parenting, labor & delivery & my pregnancy journey & needs. I started out with The Mama Natural Week by Week Guide. I used it religiously in first pregnancy and also a little bit for the second time around. It gave me a lot of helpful info that I used such as no medical interventions and creating my baby registry check list. I never would have known this stuff if I didn’t dig deep for it. Shout out to all the moms out there doing their research! With so much knowledge and resources at our fingertips, how could you not?
Anyway, I have seen so many articles written by moms bashing modern day parenting styles. I have also seen society push things that encourage time away from baby. I am just over all of it. Can we just do what feels natural as a mama and not have to go by guidelines or feel guilty for choosing certain methods? Its truly sad that nowadays friends will actually ask you why you chose a certain method such as formula feeding or not co-sleeping. The correct response from every self-conscious mama out there: “because it is what is best for our family.” Why should we ever have to give any explanation?
We all do what works best for us. I am leaving my big parenting questions for myself to pray about, meditate upon, ask friends and family about. Going straight to the internet will confuse me with so many different methods. Many of these methods have probably worked very well for some people but that doesn’t mean it’s the only way for everyone!
We all want our children to feel loved, show empathy and respect for others, be connected to us and live a healthy life emotionally, physically and spiritually! If we are giving it our all, being open minded, not being hard on ourselves and having some patience here and there, we can be confident that our children will be just fine! If you formula-feed, don’t co-sleep, yell once in a while, allow television time, use a stroller, I can assure you, you are doing what you are supposed to be doing! Breastfeeding, co-sleeping, babywearing, and all the other “natural” techniques are amazing too and you also are doing what you are supposed to be doing!
As parents, we are responsible for teaching these little people everything so they can thrive in this broken world. Yes, it’s important to make sure we have the best as far as tools and methods, if we even have the resources. One of my greatest parenting methods is “giving it to God.” When I feel like I’m inadequate or doing something the wrong way, I can be assured that God is in control of my child’s journey. There is no way for me to ruin my child’s life and well being if I do happen to choose the wrong method to suit their needs. So let’s stop thinking that we are completely responsible for the outcome of these little people’s lives.
Its taken me a little while to develop this strong dislike for parenting techniques. It’s an oxymoron, no? Parenting is a learning journey so how can you go into it with a technique that someone else mastered? I’m not going to go into a new job as an electrician with a whole library in my head of what worked for other electricians in all different situations. I’m going to have to figure out the job for myself and maybe use some of that info sparingly when a situation calls for it.
Taking on full responsibility of every area of our children’s lives and how they turn out just sounds draining and unrealistic. Something’s gotta give. Relax and see all the good that children automatically come with from when they are born. If you have love in your heart then you already have everything you need to help your child thrive in life.